stop trying to make melania happen
on the perceived victimhood of melania trump, her ugly hat, and the mass acceptance of the new (old) administration and american oligarchy.
I spent the inauguration weekend away from Washington D.C., in a picturesque cabin in the Shenandoah mountains with minimal cell service. My room was freezing, TikTok was banned and then unbanned, I drank non-alcoholic rosé mixed with soda water, watched the snow fall from the hot tub, we watched Blair Witch Project, and for a second that was the scariest thing in the world. A small part of me was able to forget about what waited for me upon my return, I stared into the snow as if it could hypnotize me, and maybe it worked for a second, but the unspoken reminder of what was coming lingered in the air like a haze.
The drive back to D.C. was somber, to say the least. In a typically bustling city, the roads were eerily empty, sidewalks clear; we returned to a ghost town. In a city where 93.4% of residents voted against Donald Trump, a city where his supporters flew in by the thousands to celebrate what they were coining “the Golden Age of America1” the desire to be out and about was non-existent. I got home and winced whenever my phone vibrated, another executive order was signed, another step closer to hell.
I’m not a politics writer by any means, I feel I should get that out of the way quickly. There are people on this app who can analyze the political landscape in ways I never would think to, but I feel like as someone who built a platform off of discussing topics that dominate conversations surrounding the current culture-sphere, I’m looking at it from a bit of a different perspective. When I was in college studying journalism, my favorite professor would always describe journalists as watchdogs, they carefully observe what happens around them and bring attention to the red flags or pieces that don’t fit where they’re meant to be. When I sit and see people, smart people, falling into the trap of cherry-picking issues to be bothered by, or turning obviously immoral political figures into paragons of virtue and womanhood, my ears perk up and I find myself almost unconsciously drawn to write.
Did everyone decide to stan Melania Trump overnight? Did I miss something? I’ve been asking myself that question over and over for the last few days. In November, I wrote a piece about the rise in casual conservatism across the internet, and I discussed the internet bit about ironically stanning2 political figures like Melania Trump:
The Melania Trump fancams and the tweets praising her as a skinny legend or noting how she’s the hottest first lady or how “at least we have another 4 years of cunty Melania!” start as jokes. There’s a bit in there— we all know who her husband is, what he’s done, and she’s no saint— but for the sake of the joke, for coping, for likes and engagement, let’s keep up the bit that we hate her husband, everything he stands for, all of the views his followers hold, but we stan her.
It’s bizarre to me, we cope with humor I guess, but like I asked myself in November, when does the bit stop being a bit? Social media is full of takes from “Melania is a political prisoner” to “Melania represents all women who hate their husbands3” and it goes to show how the tides of conservatism are shifting.
In 2017, #FreeMelania dominated social media, beginning with a GIF from her husband’s first inauguration of her smiling and then her face dropping into a frown after he turned away. That quickly circulated, with the conversation surrounding Melania shifting from a place of criticism, to painting her as a victim—trapped by her husband, her agency stripped from her. In a 2017 article for the Atlantic, Megan Garber wrote:
What #FreeMelania ignores, of course, are the first lady’s several public defenses of her husband: the fact that she joined him, in 2011, in his birtherism; that she dismissed the contents of the Access Hollywood tape as ‘boy talk’; that she once boasted that ‘I’m not a nagging wife.’
Even though she’s been portrayed as this quiet, almost lifeless doll— easy for liberals to project their “she hates her husband, she’s just like us!” image onto and for conservatives to depict her as the optimal, quiet but loyal wife— it can’t be ignored that she is complicit4 in the election of and the narrative behind a man who wants to strip rights from those who need them most.
“They’re against us,” Melania Trump said over and over on the infamous Christmas tapes, a 2018 recording (released in 2020) of the first lady complaining about the media annoying her about the Trump Administration’s heavily-contested immigration policy of separating parents and children at the US-Mexico Border. Up until that point, the image of Melania as quiet and non-committal was still popularly regarded. Anna North, a senior correspondent for Vox, wrote a 2020 article that raised the point that the Melania Christmas Tape demonstrates just how similar to her husband she is:
The woman who married Donald Trump, campaigned with him, lives in the White House with him, and has never once publicly spoken out against him despite probably knowing more about him than anyone else, is actually a lot like Donald Trump. Imagine that.
This image of Melania Trump as an undercover liberal ally, or at the very least, a secret Trump hater, glosses over all of her actions that align her politics and her character with her husband. It’s unfounded, born of 2016’s rage and sadness toward the Trump administration.
History always tends to repeat itself, in whatever sick and twisted way we least expect. On Monday, Melania wore a god-awful hat to the inauguration, a hat that was the subject of memes5 and fashion criticisms on social media. In one of the dominating conversations though, someone posted a clip of Donald Trump attempting to kiss his wife on the cheek, but unable to physically touch her due to the hat’s (ugly) wide brim. Twitter (now Neo-Nazi Elon Musk’s app X) is a 2017 time capsule. Melania is once again a victim, she’s the poor, unwilling wife of a Very Bad Man, so we must sympathize with her. I hate to break it to you, but sometimes there isn’t a silver lining. The uber-rich trophy wife is a bad person. She benefits from her husband’s hateful rhetoric, her son benefits, she’s back in a position of power.
Hat or no hat,6 I have very little doubt that the narrative surrounding Melania Trump will find its way back to Poor Little Melania.7 The public image surrounding the Trumps, at least in the upper echelons of the American oligarchy, is generally positive. Gone are the days of some of America’s wealthiest business leaders criticizing Trump and his politics, speaking out to garner public approval, promising to commit to climate-friendly policies, or changing their profile pic to rainbow during pride month to show allyship. They’re done acting like they care about what the people think— they know where the money is and who to suck up to to maintain it. The second Trump Administration is already one of the uber-rich realizing that their interests align with Trump. Musk, Bezos, and Zuckerberg’s front-row seats at the inauguration are proof of that. Kim Kardashian is done catering to us poors. Recently, she’s been #besties with Ivanka Trump, and on Monday she posted a photo of Melania (wearing the awful hat) on her Instagram story. It’s only a matter of time before she puts them in a SKIMS campaign, I can already see them calling it the new image of “family values.”
Even among non-oligarch social circles, the general population, if you will, there’s an obvious shift in perception. “Thank you, President Trump,” TikTok-addicted teens and adults alike screamed out when the TikTok ban (which I’ll remind you, was originally presented by Trump) almost magically disappeared. TikTok itself credited “President Trump’s efforts” for bringing the app back. Elon Musk stepped onstage during an inauguration event and fully Nazi-saluted (TWICE) and formerly rational people have point blank said he’s “acknowledging space since it’s a key aspect of his business.”8 Young men have been radicalized in front of our noses, an army of red hats, it’s unsurprising to watch as more and more people begin to fall under the spell. Cunty Melania fancams pave the way for that mindset, the acceptance of the administration, even if it’s just a tiny step. It might seem non-existent, “I’m just retweeting this because it’s funny, she’s just a girl!” but it so quickly opens the door to signal that everything has changed. How long until Melania fancams turn into commentaries about the positives of the Trump administration’s policies?
In all honesty, I’m terrified to see what the second Trump Administration does to this country. We’re on day 2 when I’m writing this, and I’ve cringed almost every time I’ve looked at the news. D.C. might be my home now, a small city of people who share the same beliefs as me, who leave the city for inauguration weekend, but I was raised in a small, rural, conservative town in New Jersey and many of the people I went to school with or even was friends with in high school have been celebrating for the past few days. I’ve seen cakes, fireworks, banners, lawn signs, graffiti, posters, bumper stickers, and rallies. I bite my tongue every time I go home, I’ve purged my social media of the majority of people I went to high school with, all of the boys who made fun of me in 2016 for saying I was scared for the future and the girls that told me I was overdramatic for worrying about my rights. I want to shake my 15-year-old self and warn her that the worst hasn’t even hit yet.
weekly favorites (let’s find something positive at least for a second):
I started watching Severance and I’m addicted. I think it’s quite possibly one of the best shows ever and I need to know what the numbers mean.
I’ve been loving Trader Joe’s Vegan Kale, Cashew, and Basil Pesto. I toss it on some pasta, add some mini peas, and crack a ton of pepper on and it is delicious.
I”m still reading Orbital. I was planning to finish it during my weekend at the cabin, but I was scared to read it in the hot tub.
Okay so obviously I have to say the cabin hot tub. There was something so nice about watching the snow fall while lurking in the hot tub.
I’ve been exclusively listening to my Twin Peaks-inspired playlist. I love David Lynch and his art. His passing is so devastating to me.
One of my favorite reads this week was
’s “loss or liberation”
thank you for reading people’s princess. this publication and this community mean everything to me. you can also find me on instagram @peoples.princess.
with love,
sarah 💘
i’m assuming if you follow me you know what “stan” means but if you don’t (my mom) it’s basically when you’re a super big fan of someone/something.
maybe you should seek therapy instead of projecting onto MELANIA TRUMP????
remember this? https://www.cnn.com/2020/10/01/politics/melania-trump-tapes/index.html
please feel free to send me your favorites, i love to laugh at how stupid this hat was.
i wish there was no hat, i really hate that hat
i bet she hates being called poor. she would probably call me poor (she wouldn’t be wrong)
this was quite literally said to me.
you articulated so much of what i have been feeling during the inauguration! i have even noticed in my own personal life the rise of conservatism “talking points” as a “joke” amongst both men and women who previously have expressed no alignment with the values. it kind of reminds me of what ethel cain said recently about a lack of seriousness in public discourse lately, just as you reiterated here. sure, your cunty melania post might be made out of irony, but is it a situation to be ironic about? there is still consequence to irony i fear
I love articles like this because it's evident that a woman openly supporting and standing by a power-hungry, rich man knows exactly what she's doing - regardless of whether she privately agrees with his decisions or not. You can't save someone that doesn't want to be saved.