we don't have to work it out on the remix

the beauty of female friendships

five years ago, i walked into college orientation shaking with nerves and panicking about making friends, and a day later, i walked out with my best friend. in theory, i met sofia on social media before we went to orientation, i knew she was another girl from new jersey and she seemed cool so i would always like her instagram pictures. she told me much later that my social media presence made her think i was mean because of my brown hair (still trying to figure that one out), but she messaged me anyway, asking if we would be at the same orientation.

july 15, 2019. my family drove down to DC the day before, and i bought a new shirt at the brandy melville in georgetown to wear for orientation. i got out of the car near campus silently panicking. i was in a new city and i didn’t know a single person there, the thought was terrifying but exciting; no one knew anything about me, i had the potential to reinvent myself completely, yet i met the one person who let me be the most myself.

i was waiting on the grassy hill of the campus amphitheater, sitting with a bunch of people i had met while registering, and they seemed nice enough, but it was obvious we were all sitting together and chatting because we didn’t know anyone else yet. i saw sofia walking down the hill to where i was sitting, and i don’t know what cosmic power interfered, but suddenly i got up and ran over to hug her. i think that was the moment for both of us when the universe told us we were meant to be in each others’ lives, we were each so nervous, in an unfamiliar place with no one, yet we found each other.

this feels representative of me and sofia (also you’re a real people’s princess longtime subscriber if you remember my calico critter memes)

the rest of orientation was a blur, i met so many new people, played stupid icebreakers, but the only moments that stick out are the little moments sofia and i had. we sat on a dresser in a crowded room and told each other stories about our families, we bonded over our love for the bachelorette (we don’t even really watch it anymore), and crept back to our respective rooms at night, scared of waking up the roommates we never even got to meet. i had close girl friends in high school, but i never experienced such an immediate closeness, someone i could share anything with after knowing for less than a day. when the semester started it took a moment, and some experimentation with different friend groups, before we started hanging out every day, and days turned into weeks, which turned into months and years and now, five years later, it’s the most special friendship of my life.

it’s hard putting that kind of closeness in words, where you could spend hours together in complete silence but still enjoy each other’s company, or somehow have conversations every day but never run out of new things to talk about and find exciting together. i think female friendships are so beautiful, there’s such appreciation and love for each other and our friendship, so there’s a constant desire to grow together.

i keep seeing articles and videos about how female friendships are some of the most precious and beautiful relationships we can form, how you can meet a girl in the bathroom of a bar and suddenly she’s your best friend, and i stop and read every single one of them. i love that universal acknowledgment that friendships between women are so precious, that we hold them in such high regard as they turn into some of the most intricate relationships we can experience. i don’t think i ever gave the friendships i have with women in my life that much thought before i started coming across all of these pieces because, to me, it was just the most natural feeling in the world, like we were made to be brought together in friendship and amplify our respective forms of femininity.

female friendship feels like a warm hug. it’s dancing together to a song that both of you scream “i love this song” the moment it begins to play. it’s waking up and immediately texting the details of your dream, because even if it barely makes sense, you know she’ll understand. it’s inside jokes, playing the same games with your american girl dolls when you were children and then laughing about that when you’re adults. it’s immediately going to each other when you need to talk about something serious, yet also spending countless hours locked in lighthearted conversation. it’s the most impactful and defining relationship, the one that novels are written about.

sofia sent me this tiktok yesterday and i feel like it sums us up really well

when i think about the long-lasting, eternal bonds, best friends forever type of relationships, i think about sofia and me. i’m not very good at picturing what my life could look like in the future, but one of the things i know for certain is that sofia will be there. we often joke about how we need one of those friendship necklaces, the half heart that you would get from claire’s with your elementary school best friend, but i think in actuality we just kind of are the friendship necklace. i know she’s my other half, we’re mirrors of each other, and we just are better together than apart.

i’m the luckiest person in the world to have a friendship that changed my life in such a special, profound way. i know that when sofia and i inevitably force our daughters to be best friends, we’ll teach them how to play american girl dolls the way sofia and i separately did, and we can tell them all about our friendship and how beautiful and exciting it has been.

this week i kind of was at a loss for what to write about, but when i realized that it was our 5th friendship anniversary, i found myself thinking over and over about how this friendship has shaped me as a person and how sofia has constantly brought out the best in me. i wish for every single person to find a friendship that means as much to them as mine with sofia does to me, because i think it’s one of the best things about my life.

i’m going to go text my best friend now <3

please excuse any typos, i cried a lot of happy tears while writing and editing this

p.s. my weekly favorites

• my boyfriend visiting me and spending a really incredible weekend together

• star wars sent me a package after the finale of the acolyte which was the highlight of my week and also my life

• longlegs (i was not as scared as i thought i would be also i liked when he sang)

• nectarines and peaches

• new clairo album!!!

• soft serve ice cream with rainbow sprinkles

okay, that’s all for now! love you all to pieces & i’ll see you soon!

sarah 💌