too chic or not too chic, that is the question

chic is the new hot, hot is the new cool, and cool is uncool.

For years I sounded like a New Jersey Paris Hilton, effortlessly throwing out a “that’s hot” anytime something slightly remarkable happened. It was an easy description, I’d see a stunning pair of vintage heels or a man walking a dog or a perfectly garnished cocktail, and like clockwork, “that’s hot” would slip from my lips. The concept of hotness was broad, it represented anything aspirational or gorgeous or remotely intriguing.

At the end of June, Sofia and I went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to see the “Sleeping Beauties” exhibit. We walked through room after room of some of the most beautiful and creative designs, pieces of fashion history that made me lose my breath, and I was overwhelmed by the sheer artistry. At one point in the exhibit, Sofia stopped me, pointed to the wall and we stood in silence, reading this:

The garments and accessories in this gallery were owned and worn by the singularly chic Millicent Rogers.

With apologies to Millicent Rogers, who I kept calling Maggie Rogers in my head, all I remember from her room at the exhibit were the words “singularly chic” painted at eye level. Thinking back on it, I feel like there was a Schiaparelli dress in there as well, but something about the simplicity of the words on the wall just crept into my brain and cemented itself as a new phrase in my vocabulary. Looking around that room in the exhibit, it was evident that the curators couldn't have picked a more accurate phrase; Millicent Rogers was singularly chic, there was no other way to put it.

Sofia and I love to theme our day trips, and before we were at the Met the theme was chaos, our journey from one side of the city to the other was a mess, it was brutally humid, I sweat through my vintage Guess silk top and was unhappy about that, we couldn’t reach our bus stop because Madison Avenue was closed for Joe Biden’s motorcade (we spent 4 years in DC, that’s nothing new), and we kept finding little distractions. It should come as no surprise that once we left the exhibit, our theme changed to singularly chic. For the rest of the day, we found ways to incorporate that into our conversations. Our mini-trip to the American Girl Doll store where we purchased mini-dolls (Molly for Sofia, Kit for me) was singularly chic. Sitting at a little table eating scoops of the Sabrina Carpenter x Van Leeuwen ice cream felt singularly chic, especially on such a hot day. The breakfast bowls we ate at Ruby’s, where we were sitting practically on top of another table, listening to them talk about influencing and writing books while their little dog sat next to Sofia on the bench? Singularly chic. It became a mantra, a way to redefine our situation.

some photos from our singularly chic day

Shortly after our singularly chic revelation, I started noticing “chic” popping up more and more on social media. Maybe my phone heard me saying “so chic” in conversation, but regardless, I noticed videos and tweets concocting lists of things considered to be effortlessly chic recommended to me. I saw videos describing fall fashion as “the chic items you need in your closet this fall,” restaurants in the DC area with “chic vibes” and it became apparent to me that chicness was the new aspirational lifestyle of the moment.

Wording has such an impact on perception. Items, aesthetics, and content can be constantly branded as “hot” “demure” or “dark academia” to lure potential consumers in and to remain “on trend.” I’ve talked about this before, but it’s so easy to put together buzzy words, pick descriptions that sell a lifestyle, and promote to a giant audience of people who crave belonging. Cool girl, hot girl, chic girl, all of this means the same thing in internet-speak, but one will always be more desirable than the other, depending on what is trending that particular week.

Taste is subjective, what some people describe as chic (red nail polish, giant YSL purses, perfectly curled hair) is someone else’s nightmare. I think that’s why when I see so many of these “things that feel chic to me” posts and they’re all different pieces of clothing or accessories or home decor it just feels fake to me. It is inherently unchic to assign value to objects, to make an entire lifestyle or aesthetic around purchasing items, it’s classist and just very uncool.

Maybe I feel protective of chicness after Sofia and I had our singularly chic day, and maybe I’m acting crazy; I can’t enforce rules about how to best use an adjective, but I want the idea of being chic to be something fun, not corrupted by businesses and creators trying to sell you products to fit into a lifestyle.

this is the photo i use as my profile pic on here and on instagram and i don’t think it looks particularly awesome, there are much better photos of me, but i think it feels singularly chic to me because i know how i felt in the moment.

I would like to propose singularly chic as just a description. There aren’t any items to define you as singularly chic, so anyone can feel that way. It’s completely intangible, you can’t purchase an item because it makes you singularly chic, but you can describe a day you’ve had as singularly chic. You shouldn’t aspire to be singularly chic, you already are, and there are so many little moments that can inspire that feeling within you.

I love lists, but I don’t love the idea of a list full of items you need to purchase to fit in with a trend or to encapsulate a feeling that’s different for everyone. I compiled some of my favorite feelings, moments, and emotions, that feel singularly chic to me:

• cooking with friends, standing over a stove while music plays on a speaker, laughing and talking while the kitchen is full of delicious scents.

• writing for myself, getting all of my messy thoughts and deepest fears out with zero performance or exaggeration

• conversations with my friends about nothing

• conversations with my friends about incredibly niche topics

• a weekend refresh, cleaning my home, organizing my clothes, prioritizing self-care

• recommending a show or a song or a book to a friend and they come back to me and tell me how much they enjoyed it

• when i’m with my friends and they all talk at once, laugh for a second, and determine an efficient speaking order

• feeling so overwhelmed with a sense of peace when i’m going to bed and hear raindrops on the roof

• telling a story and someone asks a really good clarifying question

• reconnecting with an old friend and re-learning all of their quirks and interests.

• taking a walk on a crisp day, feeling leaves crunch under my feet, and a cool breeze in my hair.

• that warmth i feel when seeing people who so obviously have love for each other, whether friends, lovers, or family.

• whenever someone has a silly catchphrase

• curling up to watch a movie and slowly realizing it’s surpassing my expectations

• showing off photos of moments that were special to me, and listening to someone else do the same

• greeting someone with a hug

• a perfect weather day, when it somehow exceeds all of my expectations and contributes to a good mood.

• whenever i get to eat my favorite food and i’m just so excited for a second

• spending time with a friend and making everything into an adventure

• rediscovering how passionate i am about something and then immersing myself in that

• listening to music everywhere, on walks, in my room, while i’m cooking, in the car, with my friends, any moment i can

• meeting a dog and the owner says “they’re very friendly” and i get to have a moment where i’m just so happy to be petting a dog

• any opportunity i have to share a fun fact about something i recently learned or a pop culture development

• eye contact

• cracking my window open a little bit before i go to sleep

• whenever i’m in the shower and i get really awesome writing ideas

• feeling proud of myself and my friends

• going outside whenever i feel stressed and noticing the immediate effect on my mood

• trying a new recipe and feeling so excited when it goes well

• writing about the topics i love

• going to sleep tired but happy after a day where i accomplished everything and more

Here’s a playlist for you <3

I would love to know what makes you feel singularly chic, let me know in the comments!

A drinking game for this piece: take a shot (or a shot of a non-alcoholic bev) every time I say chic.

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updating the readers in a singularly chic manner:

Later this week, I’ll be posting an additional essay about women in male-dominated fandom spaces (star wars, lord of the rings, etc), and I’m still on the fence about paywalling it. I take most of the content I write about from my personal experiences and the things I find myself interested in, and this has been a topic I’ve wanted to write about forever, but I’m hesitant to share some of my experiences in a space where context is ignored and hate is spread. I always want to be transparent with you all, and the intensely vitriolic reaction I received from men after posting my last essay has me very hesitant to allow the potential for my content to be twisted again.

It’s been a weird week for me, I took a little distance from Substack, I deleted the app off of my phone, turned all of my email notifications off, and that space allowed me to re-center what is important to me about sharing my writing. I’m here to post what I’m proud of, to write about my personal experiences and synthesize them with elements of the cultural zeitgeist that I find interesting. I want to be as true to myself as possible, I’ll never publish something that I’m not proud of, or that I feel is not up to par with the standard I hold myself to.

The internet is a crazy place, I’ve been on it for long enough that I’ve had plenty of moments where I’ve wanted to crawl into a dark corner and stay there for a while, but ultimately, it’s a place where I’ve built this community that I’m so proud of and that I’m incredibly protective of. I’m happy to keep sharing my writing, but moving forward, I’m going to keep some of my more personal content paywalled, starting with some of my past essays.

I have so much love and respect for all of you, for those who have shown me support, who’ve given me advice, and who have shared my writing, you’ve made this dream of sharing my writing a reality, and I’ll forever be grateful.

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with a crazy amount of love,

sarah 💌

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p.s.: weekly favorites

• the laotian food paul and i had over the weekend

• scream rewatch!!

• my new tottenham jersey that’s coming in the mail today <3 COYS

• my glasses

• asmr slime videos (my guilty pleasure)

• trader joes fall foods