31 Comments
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Caroline Beuley's avatar

took the words out of my mouth!! The “cool girl” is all about being so cool and unique but when it’s packaged and sold as a commodity to copy online, it’s anything but cool. Cheers to all trying to listen to what our own brains tell us we like rather than someone we don’t know on Instagram! Thanks for writing this Sarah :)

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sarah cucchiara's avatar

thank you so much for reading! i always look forward to reading your comments <3

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bel🥀's avatar

I loved this so much! I feel myself at a crossroads most days as a young woman (especially when I’m going out out) and it’s that I am never going to be this young again and I want to dress hot and look “cool” and beautiful because it helps me believe it internally. Other days or most days, I am just me. Messy, unmoisturised, unbothered, unapologetic me and I don’t deem that version of me as cool yet she’s the default. Coolness to me is a state of mind as much as it is an alter ego for me…but one you can’t wear 24/7. It has come off eventually or it wrinkles and becomes stale. But also, who doesn’t wanna feel like hot shit all the time? God knows we need the self esteem boosts!

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sarah cucchiara's avatar

i love this, thank you so much for reading <3

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ayan artan's avatar

the irony here, darling, is that you're cool as fuck. will be referencing this essay for months i can feel it.

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sarah cucchiara's avatar

says the coolest person i know!!!!! for ever grateful to have you in my life 🙂‍↕️🌟

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Patty Bee's avatar

Ha. Thank you for this - as the mom of an 18-year-old girl away at college. I'm wondering which is worse - my generation had to be "perfect." Your generation needs to be endlessly cool, but also sort of perfect. Exhausting.

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Amanda Brown's avatar

Yes, yes!! Personalities are so meticulously articulated nowadays. It feels like everyone is trying to fit the mold of what's "cool" when (as corny as it sounds) they should just be themselves. Love this!!

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eatyourgreens's avatar

" I want to be cool, I crave it, but being a cool girl would eat me alive. " omg yes! this was a lovely read as usual. also, can i just say – you're the ultimate cool girl Sarah

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Kristen Greene's avatar

absolutely yes! lovee this

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Elle's avatar

agree with everything i love u and ur brain

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sarah cucchiara's avatar

love u so much 🙂‍↕️💘

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Tori's avatar

You nailed it! None of it is fully achievable, authentic, or FUN. It’s exhausting and expensive. I always joke that you can tell someone’s screen time habits by how they dress

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sarah cucchiara's avatar

100000%!

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faith zapata's avatar

you are amazing did u know that

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sarah cucchiara's avatar

you’re making me blush.. faithsarah is alive and well!!!!

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Julia's avatar

such a good take!!

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Liz Bissonette's avatar

Yes yes yes yes

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sahana's avatar

the nonchalance epidemic is driving me INSANE

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Phoebe Leonard's avatar

Gosh I relate to this so much! I feel like I have to be "cool" but I don't think I am at all and instead feel so awkward compared to others my age (22). I'm working on not allowing myself to become consumed by all these things we're told we have to be, but it can be so difficult sometimes x

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20AUCO63 Siva sree Nandhini's avatar

"Vine you saw and became obsessed with when you were 14 are the building blocks to uniqueness, to true, unfounded coolness"

God this is exactly what I have been thinking about recently, your essay is timely🙏🏻. Such brevity and insight into this topic is amazing and your writing is as usual piercing directly to the inner walls of my conscience👏🏻

This line is accurate. I know we didn't have completely orginal taste devoid of any external influence when we were teenagers too but the difference there is then we actually and personally loved what we saw and we inculcated that into our personality. Nobody had to tell us one thing was cool and one thing wasn't. It was more of an inspiration than an influence.Popular choice or not, trendy or not. I was obsessed with it and it didn't give a shit about what other's thought. That's what added to my uniqueness. But now everything is curated ,my most basic thoughts are being outsourced to a stranger on the internet. Leave cool girl books, movies or outfits, there are people on the internet who teach cool girl etiquettes on how to sit, talk, laugh, breathe ughhh!. They brand it like suggestions but they indirectly make us contribute into this collective foolishness. This might look like such trivial things on the surface but this speaks to a bigger problem for posterity.Young girls don't have the maturity to be aware and conscious about this all the time, hell we even don't. They will grow up losing agency over their bodies catering to the tastes of people who don't care a shit about you

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Kaeleen's avatar

ugghhh sarah this is so good

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