68 Comments

This essay is absolutely amazing. It’s beautifully written and the way you articulate all these feelings that so many of us have is truly special. Thank you for this, it makes me feel less alone in my own thoughts

Expand full comment

I've struggled with that a lot, specially after i graduated. I often still do. I came to the conclusion that being mediocre is a thing that do not exist, because i saw no correlation between artistry, success, recognition, money or social impact.

But the fear of being mediocre does exist and I see it plaguing anyone, regardless of size.

I had to live with the idea of being a mediocre person to see what else i value in doing art

Expand full comment

I need to stop being afraid. Thank you for writing this. ❤️

Expand full comment
Oct 16Liked by sarah cucchiara

ive struggled with this my whole life. my mother, when i didn’t study, would say that i wouldn’t amount to anything more than a manager at mcdonalds. now im 19, putting my foot in the door to all of my creative pursuits, i got my dream job as a phlebotomist, and im slowly getting my childhood aspirations back.

growth takes time, greatness takes time, and I believe so ferociously in each and every one of you reading this. we’re all changing, and someday, with time and hard work, we’ll become the butterflies of this world <3

Expand full comment
author

this is beautiful, thank you so much for sharing <3

Expand full comment
Oct 16Liked by sarah cucchiara

oh my god this is my favorite one of yours

Expand full comment
author

AHHHH thank you 💌

Expand full comment
Oct 16Liked by sarah cucchiara

Thank you Sarah

Expand full comment
Oct 16Liked by sarah cucchiara

feels like you pulled this directly from my heart my god what a piece 😭🥹❤️💐

Expand full comment
author

ayan you mean so much to me and i'm so grateful to know you 💌

Expand full comment

love you 🥹❤️❤️

Expand full comment
Oct 16Liked by sarah cucchiara

you are so talented, and i understand this feeling so well, you and me are like this 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

Expand full comment
author

i adore you luisa 💌 thank you so much for reading

Expand full comment
Oct 16Liked by sarah cucchiara

straight to the heart ❤️‍🩹 thank you sarah

Expand full comment
author

i love you so much valerie

Expand full comment
Oct 16Liked by sarah cucchiara

incredible! Felt every word !!

Expand full comment

sarah this is just so amazing!! i really resonated with the part about downloading instagram as a teenager and engaging in a whole new popularity contest, one you weren’t even completely conscious of entering yet we are now destined to compete in, seemingly forever.

Expand full comment
author

aw leah thank you! that was something i've been thinking about for a while and it's such an unsettling cycle we find ourselves in

Expand full comment

This kind of pervasive fear is a thread running through my novel. Being afraid of life itself, achieving and failing. I hear you.

Expand full comment
Oct 16Liked by sarah cucchiara

This is one of the most beautiful things I have ever written. Every thought is one I have already had--it's like you've peered into my own dark pit, pulling up what I have tried to leave to rot. I feel inclined to restack everything--I know that this will be a piece I come back to again and again.

Expand full comment

omg i meant read lol—not me trying to take credit, whoops

Expand full comment

this is the best i've possibly read recently, and i've read it multiple times because it perfectly encapsulates all my thoughts <3

Expand full comment
author

thank you so much!

Expand full comment
Oct 16Liked by sarah cucchiara

stunned into silence but forcing myself to comment so you know how much this resonated, incredibly written and so poignant. I feel like I’m often crushed by the idea that I might be nothing special (as if that would be a problem), but it’s also baffling to hear the same from someone who I see as *so* sparkling

Expand full comment
author

eve you mean everything to me. i see YOU as so sparkling, we're in this together gorgeous!

Expand full comment
Oct 16Liked by sarah cucchiara

i think this may have just broke me

Expand full comment