i don't want to be funny for halloween

or: no, i won't be a minion, we're all being sexy for halloween, stop worrying about wearing a "basic" costume, and a very long list of halloween costume ideas

I remember every Halloween costume I’ve ever worn. A quick highlight reel for you: Baz Luhrmann’s Juliet (Paul was Romeo), Kacey Musgraves (2 years in a row), a really chic witch costume when I was 7, the girl with the green neck ribbon (a personal favorite), Rachel Sennott’s Bodies Bodies Bodies character (Sofia was Maria Bakalova’s), Padmé Amidala (Paul was Anakin), Strawberry Shortcake, sparkly dress Dorothy, and tons of princess costumes.

Halloween exists synonymously with creation. It’s a moment in time to play around with creativity. One of the key moments in the early days of my friendship with Sofia was sitting around a table in a dorm lounge, plotting Halloween costumes together. We bought oversized NJ Devils t-shirts, red mini shorts, and devil horn headbands, and for the next few weeks, we sent makeup ideas back and forth, plotted shoe choices, and laughed about how much we loved this costume. To this day, I still think it’s one of the greatest Halloween costumes I’ve worn (although the party I wore it to was one of the Worst Nights Ever, but that’s a story for another time) and I know it’s because I had such an incredible time creating it and I felt so hot in it.

I keep a running list in my phone of Halloween costume ideas, from movie characters to niche internet references, and I long for it to be the time of year when I get to piece the costumes together with pieces from my closet. Fashion has always been an outlet for me, a way to express who I am and what I love, and to me, Halloween is the ultimate extension of personal expression.

There’s an age-old debate about women’s Halloween costumes: funny vs. sexy. Somewhere a chasm formed, and each year the divide grows larger. Do you wow everyone at the party with a recreation of something niche, funny, and so absurd that you can’t help becoming the center of attention? Or do you go the Mean Girls girl world route—wear something jaw-droppingly hot, lingerie and animal ears if you will? I don’t think there’s a right answer, there can’t be one for a holiday that’s about expressing yourself however feels right to you, but there tends to be a sense of morality placed upon Halloween and the costume you choose.

from pinterest

I’ve sat between classmates, cousins, and strangers, and heard this debate every year between groups of men and women alike, shaming the women who choose to wear a sexy costume, talking about how “only ugly or unconfident women dress like a slut for Halloween” (a real statement I’ve had the misfortune of overhearing). They’ll talk about acceptable costumes for women—something less revealing, easy to understand but funny enough to stand out— it’s praising women at the expense of others, which always frustrates me. Over and over I hear men discuss how the girls in lingerie for Halloween are trying too hard, yet it’s ironic because at every Halloween party I’ve been to, those are the women they tend to follow around all night.

What upsets me the most is how quickly the jump to calling a woman a slut occurs during the Halloween debate. There’s a larger issue beyond Halloween, dressing to please anyone, let alone a man is antiquated. I attribute a lot of those negative feelings towards women who freely express themselves with clothing to maintaining control over women’s bodies. Women have found liberation through clothing, they’re able to put whatever makes them happy, confident, and comfortable on their own bodies, and in no world should they receive any form of pushback for that. When dressing in the clothes that men or other women have deemed acceptable, in the Halloween costumes that fit into the tiny picture of how a woman should dress, there’s no room for expression, for the freeing feeling of letting yourself embrace what makes you feel your best. There’s absolutely no reason to criticize a woman’s clothing choices or weaponize them against her to vilify her, slut shame her, and tear her down, and every time I read or hear that kind of take, especially when it’s disguised as empowering other women, I can’t help but roll my eyes and let out the world’s longest sigh.

I think sexiness for Halloween is important, but I don’t think that should be defined by the type of clothes you wear. This is personal preference, but the idea of doing a funny costume because that’s what’s palatable to a larger audience, comprised mostly of the male gaze, has never sat right with me, so I’ve tended to gravitate towards costumes that make ME feel really hot. I don’t think dressing sexy for Halloween (and in general) can be measured by how few or how many layers of clothing you wear. It’s about feeling good about yourself in whatever you choose to wear, that’s what makes Halloween sexy. I’ll argue for sexy Halloween until my breath runs out, but I want to make it as clear as possible, that sexy Halloween is all-encompassing, it’s for everyone, it’s about feeling, it’s singularly chic. By my logic, every single Halloween costume can be considered sexy, so don’t waste your breath fighting against it. If you feel your best and your most confident in an inflatable minion costume, that’s awesome, but there’s no reason to criticize someone for feeling their best in a perfect replica of a Victoria's Secret Angel costume (which I think is incredibly chic). I think the sexiest Halloween costume is something so creative, I want to sit with someone and have them explain their brainstorming process, all of their references, and how they sourced the pieces, but that could just be the fashion nerd in me talking.

I want a return to the root of what makes Halloween special: brainstorming ideas for costumes that make me happy. I don’t care what the man in the corner of the party wearing a Joker costume thinks about the costume I spent weeks planning and getting excited about wearing. I feel sexy in it, because I know how happy I am to be able to express myself, to experience this rush of joy that comes at the culmination of a creative project. If he can’t tell what my costume is, that’s not my problem, and if he needs me for anything actually serious, I’ll be shedding glitter and dancing with my friends and drinking a vodka soda in the center of the room.

this is literally me being hot and having fun at a Halloween party from saltburn

You can be anything you want for one night (or 3 if you’re like me and find yourself at multiple Halloween parties) and that’s always felt so special to me. If I haven’t made myself clear I love Halloween. Sometimes, we need a little extra inspiration to spark that idea for a costume, so I wanted to compile some for you. Maybe you have a Halloween party you’re going to and you still haven’t decided on a costume, I guarantee I have one for you.

Because I am a woman (princess?) of the people, I wanted this list to contain solo costumes, group costumes, and duo/couples costumes, along with costumes that I feel can be chic in both masculine and feminine iterations. If there’s one takeaway from this piece, please just remember that Halloween is a time for you to feel confident and sexy, and to have fun, regardless of what you’re wearing.

this is me sharing my Halloween ideas with you (from over the garden wall)

halloween costume ideas for you (i would happily wear all of these, but i already have mine picked out):

i would suggest typing any of these costume ideas into Pinterest if you’re looking for in-depth outfit ideas, but please feel free to leave a comment or message me to ask for specific details about any of the costumes i mentioned <3

• chic, glittery, pink witch

• and then the opposite: classic, sexy witch

• literally any chappell roan look (i personally love the my kink is karma outfit and her statue of liberty look)

• wand (magician) and rabbit

• party animal (animal print and a party hat)

• strawberry shortcake (and she’s got a lot of friends, if you want to make it a group thing)

• mermaid/siren

• the normal fucking rockwell album cover

• carrie bradshaw but specifically her “big is moving to paris” look

• retro/vintage-y cupid